The Faithful One

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24

The one who created you is faithful

"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."

1 Peter 4:19

The one who is with you is faithful

"I will fear no evil, for you are with me" Psalm 23:4

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

The one who instructs me is faithful

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

The one who forms my heart is faithful

"From His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth- He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do."

Psalm 33:14-15

The one who is my shield is faithful

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

The one who loves me is faithful

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions" Psalm 51:1

The one who is my strength is faithful

"O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in times of distress." Isaiah 33:2

The one who is my life is faithful

"When Christ, who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory." Colossians 3:4

The one on whom I wait is faithful

"By faith Abraham, even though he was past age- and Sarah herself barren- was enabled to become a father because he considered Him faithful who had made the promise." Hebrews 11:11

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrews 6:15

Just as I am, I would be lost; but mercy and grace my freedom cost. And now to glory in your cross, O Lamb of God I come.

painful now, but later on

John 13:3-8, 14&15

"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power and that He had come from God and was returning to God; so He got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to Him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

Jesus replied, "You do not realize what I am doing, but later you will understand."

"No," said Peter, "You shall never wash my feet."

Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with Me."

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set for you an example that you should do as I have done for you."

Hebrews 12: 7-11

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline) then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit the the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

In both circumstances Jesus takes the time to address the alternative; 'Unless I wash you' and 'if you are not disciplined ', It is by this we 'become true sons' and 'have a part with Him'.

We do not realize what Jesus is doing. Be it in the form of humility that comes from washed feet, or through painful discipline; with the Lord there is always the hope and motivation of a 'later on'.

from life's first cry to final breath

In recent months I have been exposed to both life's first cry and the final breath.

My grandmother's final breaths took place after the removal of life support. I witnessed through a phone call, the singing of "It is Well" by other family members around her bed. I also heard the struggle as her body gasped for air, painfully unaware of the blissful home that was so imminent. A step into the land of the living.

Just this past week I was able to visit a friend in the hospital who had just given birth. I heard, as the father proudly showed off the video, the first cry of life as their son was welcomed into the world. A step into the land of the dying.

My father has often quoted to us such a paradox: At birth we enter 'the land of the dying' and with our departure, enter 'the land of the living'. As Francis Chan said in one of his books, "I'm not being morbid, just realistic." Such a realization ought to be received with the humility spoken of in Micah 6:8.

No Psalm better conveys to me the reality of what this life is, than Psalm 90.

"Lord, You have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.

Before the mountains were born

or You brought forth the earth and the world,

from everlasting to everlasting You are God.

You turn men back to dust,

saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."

For a thousand years in Your sight

are like a day that has just gone by,

or like a watch in the night.

You sweep men away in the sleep of death;

they are like the new grass of the morning-

though in the morning it springs up new,

by the evening it is dry and withered.

We are consumed by Your anger

and terrified by Your indignation.

You have set our iniquities before You,

our secret sins in the light of Your presence.

All our days pass away under Your wrath;

we finish our years with a moan.

The length of our days is seventy years-

or eighty, if we have the strength;

yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,

for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Who knows the power of Your anger?

For Your wrath is as great as the fear that is due You.

Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Relent, O Lord! How long will it be?

Have compassion on your servants.

Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us,

for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May Your deeds be shown to Your servants,

Your splendor to their children.

May the favor of our God rest upon us;

establish the work of our hands for us-

yes, establish the work of our hands. "

"From life's first cry, to final breath Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand. Until He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I stand." -In Christ Alone, Keith and Kristyn Getty

it's a ..... baby Tarver!!

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:5-6

It would be impossible to announce the adoption process commencement of Ben and Christy Tarver without drawing attention to our personal 'adoption as sons' (Romans 8:23) into God's family. It is from Him and through Him that we may know and communicate a spirit of adoption.

It is from this basis of understanding and because of God's faithful, pursuing love that Ben and Christy (my sister and brother-in-law) are seeking to adopt a child into their family! To say that I'm a proud aunt is an understatement!! In the past two weeks I have been with the parents-to-be as items are picked out for the baby, a guest bedroom becomes a nursery and have listened in as potential baby names are discussed. Praise God for among other things, allowing me the joy of living so close to them during this exciting season!

Much like me, I'm sure most people reading this are unaware of the lengthy process that is adoption (in the legal sense). As a brief overview, Ben and Christy hope to be paper ready by the beginning of October. This includes a myriad of tasks, which seem to have the intention of leaving very little, if anything, unknown about their lives.... From this point it could be three weeks to three months before a child is placed into their lives. While I have glazed over the events leading up to and including the process, you should know that it can be a very trying time. Please bring this process before the Father, specifically for wisdom and discernment, and most importantly that Ben and Christy's hearts would be growing evermore like Christ's.

The announcement of baby Tarver was presented to me in the form of an 'aunt' bracelet and with a copy of "Adopted for Life" -a book written by the pastor of our church here. It was a sweet time of celebration followed by a trip home that weekend to tell the parents (nanna and pop) and the (great) grandparents.

The next day, training for "Farther for Tarver" began. We have decided to use the half-marathon in Louisville on November 11th as a way to encourage friends to give of themselves physically, by running the race with us; or financially, by sponsoring our run. This concept was originally used to raise awareness and funds for an adoption by our friends the Lovetts (Lovett or Leave it) and we 'lovett' enough to bring it back! We already have a group of approximately 11 runners so far; myself, Christy and Ben included.... Brief shout out to my sister whom I couldn't be more proud of for her determined efforts in training for something that isn't her favorite of all past-times! :)

The purpose of this blog is to serve as an official announcement of baby Tarver and to also inform you of ways you can be involved. Ben and Christy will be accepting sponsors for their run, Farther for Tarver, and of course more runners are also always welcome! The second way to be a part of the process is by purchasing a shirt (pictured on my Facebook page) - who doesn't love a great commemorative tee?? All money will go directly to this process.

We are so blessed to find ourselves surrounded by a faith family here that celebrates adoption. My eyes and heart have been opened to my own adoption into Christ and to my Father who is a Father to the fatherless. If adoption interests you, and even better, if you have never considered adoption in any sense, I encourage you to first open God's Word which is full of adoption parallels, where such an emphasis cannot, and should not, be overlooked. Then secondly, to procure a copy of Dr. Moore's "Adopted for Life" for yourself- a must-read for those adopting and also to those who have never thought about their own adoption into God's family.

I look forward to sharing more with you on the process of welcoming baby Tarver into our family! I write this as one excited for another's adoption and as one grateful for my own.

for the Kingdom

"And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek first the Kingdom and these things will be given to you as well. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the Kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourself that will not wear out , a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes in and where no moth destroys." Luke 12: 29-33

Freedom to seek the Kingdom, void of distractions, to not be preoccupied with 'all such things'. Christ has given the freedom to run after the Kingdom.

Being given 'these things as well' is not a synonym for a 'two for the price of one' offer, as if clothing and food were on equal standing with the Kingdom. God is saving us from the worldly distractions that set themselves up against the Kingdom cause.

You provide and tell us to exhaust our resources ('Sell your possessions and give to the poor' v 33), as one drenching the sacrifice to see it burned up with fire from Heaven (1 Kings 18:30-39) so that You may continue to see Your Kingdom advance and Your little flock dressed like the flowers and fed like the ravens. It pleases You to give us the Kingdom, for us to set our hearts on You.

In providing for us out of Your riches, we are provided for better than what our feeble attempts would reep. You know that such would only lead us to a false goal (that of which the pagans run after) resulting in stolen goods and rusted treasures. Yet You know that when You provide it is more than we can hold (Malachi 3:10) and it is that of which cannot spoil, perish, or fade (1 Peter 1: 4).

So we sell, of the gifts given, in order that more might receive. We are enabled to run for Your Kingdom and in our having -to give, You are glorified.

Nevertheless, flesh fails; BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my forever portion. Psalm 73:26

life... growth, happens

Moment by moment and day by day. 'Defining moments' for the good and bad are mixed in amongst a myriad of smaller events.

Unintentionally, we may find ourselves yearning and setting a fixed sight on these planned events; a child's due date, a graduation, a birthday, until we find ourselves being unintentional in our conversations and lackadaisical in our prayers. There is a sense of shock that then comes with 'big event days'. We briefly reflect back and ask the familiar question ' where has the time gone?'.

Unexpected news could subsequently evoke a sense of regret over 'unlived days'.

Timing between and during each seasonal circumstance is intentional. God has numbered our days (Psalm 139:16) and we would be wise to learn this practice ourselves (Psalm 90:12).

Thinking back to the most recent big events in my life (gran's homecoming, graduation/ move and a job offer) only one of these events were written on my planner. -brief reference to my thoughts on God's rolodex, His planner was never lacking such entries.

Ecclesiastes' reference the familiar 'a time for every season under the sun' (3:1) but what strikes me most is that we do not know the season, more specifically their appointed time of change.

We can each attest to how such 'defining moments' have had an instant and overall strengthening affect to our prayer life. No doubt, God is using these moments as a method of spurring us to growth.

The right reserved for God to change times and seasons (Daniel 2:21) isn't merely confined to nature. God who holds time; perfectly, beautifully, orchestrates a harmony of events, growth seasons.

While we may see our life, growth, from this side of eternity as a scattered mixture of small and big events, Almighty God has them placed perfectly- for the purpose of our growth, more importantly, Hs glory!

"so do not be afraid, little flock, your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom."

Luke 12:32

Familiar Phrases

Deuteronomy 8:4 “Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years”
Clothes of “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” Colossians 3:12and “feet that are fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace” Ephesians 6:15. I know that Deuteronomy 8 refers directly to the clothes and shoes worn in exile but I am confident that the Breath of God can blow fresh on the pages of Ephesians. Consider what it would mean for clothes worn exhibiting qualities of ‘compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience’ to not wear out during forty years in the desert. Or for ‘feet fitted with readiness’ from the ‘gospel of peace’ to not swell. To think back of the Israelites' time of exile and to then relate that with my own experiences in times of an emotional desert. My Lord is able, and is willing, to sustain qualities of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience even when He is the one who is leading me into the desert! He is able to keep my anxious feet fitted with His peace. The God of Israel showed His faithfulness to His people as reassurance to me. What a blessing! I’m thankful for ‘feet that don’t swell’ and ‘clothes that don’t wear out’ Especially when those feet and clothes parallel to internal qualities.

Psalm 91:4 “His faithfulness will be your shield”
Ephesians 5:16 “take up the shield of faith”


“because God” Hebrews 13:5 “Has said never will I leave you never will I forsake you”

“because, God” 1Peter 5:5 “opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble”

“but as for me” Psalm 71:14 “I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more”

“but as for me” ​​Joshua 24:15 “and my household we will serve the Lord.”

“but as for me” ​​Psalm 73:28 “it is good for me to be near my God, I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge, I will tell of all Your deeds”

Colossians 2:23 “Such regulations have the appearance of wisdom.. but lack any value”

Isaiah 47:10 “your wisdom and knowledge mislead you”


"confident of this" Psalm 27:13 "I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

"confident of this" Philippians 1:6 "that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

"for this reason" Genesis 2:24 "a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

"for this reason" Ephesians 3:14 "I kneel before the Father."


Within the story of Jonah; "the Lord provided". In Jonah's rebellion (1:17) "the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the fish for three days and three nights." Again the phrase "God provided" is repeated in 4:6 as a vine that "grew up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine."


Indeed the Word of God is very near- not too difficult or beyond reach. It is in in your mouth and in your heart that you may obey it! (Deuteronomy 30:11 and 14). Amen!


Sent from my iPhone

Calling and Answering

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

Yesterday was CPR training day at work, so naturally I had a dream that involved calling 911, it's just the way my mind works.

In this dream my family's house was being destroyed by crazy people cutting down trees and running into it with their cars (so strange). I was the heroic person who decided to call 911 for the terrified crew. Panic set in when I realized the noise outside was too great and I could not hear what the receiver was saying on the other line. In my dream I wasn't getting through to have help be sent and had to keep trying again and again. During one of the failed 911 attempts I heard the sound of sirens, an entire fleet of them! We realized that one of the neighbors had called for us, but to us at the time I remember thinking in my dream it seemed like we had an answer before we even called.

A couple days ago we had a notice on our door that the 'bug people' , as I affectionately call them, would be coming to spray our apartment soon. Enter massive cockroach in the apartment the next morning!! The exact people that I would have called (after the bug was securely hidden under a cup in my bathroom) had told me that they were already on their way. That's service.

On a more practical note, there are a select group of precious times that I can look back on the life of my family and see God working on our behalf before we even called out to Him. It brings amazing comfort to my future to be in intimate fellowship with my Creator! God has proven to me, not as if I deserved it, that He is actively working on my behalf.

Often, we are delivered before the "just in time" moment and we see that as something less than God's divine appointments. In times of reflection it is those moments where, only in hindsight, can I see that I was rescued from a terrible season or situation before I knew that it was a dangerous road to be traveling on.

Silly as it may be, that dream scared me. Yet, in His own way God confronted me with the reality of my own fears by the overwhelming reassurance of His presence, and not only His presence but His protection and power.

Today, we are under the care of our God who hears while we are still speaking and who knows our thoughts before they are spoken (Psalm 139:4).

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

the smell of burning hair

A few years ago I read a story where a woman would light a candle each morning as she sat down to have her time with the Lord. Burning the candle was a way to separate those precious minutes with God from the other hectic hours of the day.

Occasionally, I have started the practice of lighting the candle on my desk before I sit down for a quiet time. As a side note, I love candles - the current candle on my desk is jasmine bouquet- a nice, light summertime fragrance (I'd recommend it).

This past morning found me sitting at my desk lighting a candle as I opened my Bible. Not too much time had passed before I realized that it wasn't the smell of jasmine bouquet that was filling the air, but that of singed hair (arguably one of the top 5 most unpleasant smells). Now don't be frightened - I wasn't foolish enough to catch my hair on fire, but a solitary strand of hair had fallen close enough to just be within grasp of the wick, easily overpowering any pleasant fragrance that would come from the lit candle.

The concept of our offerings and our prayers being presented to the Lord as a pleasing aroma is not a foreign one. In Revelation we hear about the 'prayers of the saints' which are 'golden bowls full of incense' (5:8). Just as actions can be detestable before the sight of the Lord, our sins can cause a stench in the nostrils of God.

The first chapter in Isaiah is amazing for the way that it shows God's thoughts to some of the traditions that we find ourselves in, disguised under the umbrella term of 'religion'. Specifically, in verse 14 "The New Moon festivals and appointed feasts" I could substitute 'Sunday services and daily quiet times'. A familiar term for such a problem might be 'hallelujahs without holiness'.

What I learned from lighting the candle that morning was that the act of lighting the candle (pardon the redundancy) didn't ensure a pleasant aroma. The strand of hair, that I hadn't taken the time to remove or given the attention to notice made it's self noticeable. I must realize that simply reading the Word without examining my heart makes me more like the smell of singed hair than that of incense. In fact, such a daily repetition without a spiritual humility may be exactly what God meant when He speaks of the "trampling of [His] courts" (v 12).

Praise God that He provided a solution to the mess we've made! Chapter one of Isaiah doesn't end with God's frustration with His people. Beginning in verse 16 the first instructions are to "wash and make yourselves clean" followed by His atonement in verse 16 "though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow". Our Teacher Himself, exposes a problem and then He, Himself provides the solution.

The Vine and the City

Jonah 4:

But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. ² He prayed to the LORD, “Isn’t this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. ³ Now, LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

⁴ But the LORD replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”

⁵ Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. ⁶ Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant^[a] and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. ⁷ But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. ⁸ When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

⁹ But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

¹⁰ But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. ¹¹ And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

What's important is not that Jonah was happy about the vine or that he was angry at its absence. The city was God's concern all along- even to the extent that He would preserve Jonah's life for three days in a fish.
This emphasis on 'the city' reminds me of a verse in Jeremiah 29:7. The Lord tells the people to pray for the city that they are exiled to 'for if it prospers, you prosper'. Jonah's problem from the beginning is that he didn't like the city of Ninevah (he would probably go beyond not liking it). Beyond that, Jonah's reason for going outside the city was to see if the Lord would bring His warned destruction upon the people. God cares for cities. Even when He provides blessing that seem to 'spring up overnight' or when the same God provides a worm to destroy the vine, God's interest remains on the city.
Along with blessing the name of the Lord in seasons of plenty or want we must make sure to stay focused on the Lord's will; which is much greater that the blessing of a vine that I 'did not tend to or make grow'.

what a woman

Not attempting to take away from the significance of John 20:10-18 I wanted to point out this stereotype of women that is personified by Mary Magdalene in verse 11. The verse before tells us that after discovering the empty tomb the disciples go back to their homes. And that Mary, representing the women well, "stood outside the tomb crying".

Isn't it just like a woman to let out a few tears from time to time!

When Mary looks into the tomb (of course because women are curious) she sees two angles sitting where the body of Jesus had been. The angles are first to ask the question. "Woman, why are you crying?" Mary responds very matter-of-factly, "They have take my Lord away and I don't know where they have put him".

Turning around, not yet aware that it is the Lord speaking to her, He asks Mary the question again: "Woman, why are you crying?"

What a question! Especially to be asked twice in such a short amount of time. What it would have been like to be Mary. Crying alone in a more distressful, but secretly hopeful, time than I can imagine. Goodness knows for me sometimes there is no justifiable answer as to why I cry, and I don't like always being asked to explain it either. How much more in Mary's case!

I love the detail that the Bible shows. Even to the extent of saying that the men went home and the woman stayed there to cry.... and what a woman she was!!

portable post-its

Throughout this past year I have acquired quite the collection of sticky notes above by desk and around my room in general.... I decided to take a break from packing and record them before they were taken down. Goodness knows I still need to remind myself of these truths. Thankful for the influencers in my life who lead me to continue to 'work out my salvation with fear and trembling' (Philippians 2:12)!

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need be ashamed and who correctly handles the Word of Truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

"but as for you, be strong and do not give up for your work will be rewarded." 2 Corinthians 15:7

All death can glorify God it that life was lived in the will of God. The Lord said to Peter, 'You follow Me'. John 21:19-22

The meaning of Sunday lies in our connection with our Creator. Intentionally focussing on being in God's presence. Mark 2:27

be in the Word at more that one point throughout the day

proclivity to meticulousness

do not judge-you will be judged in the same measure you use. Matthew 7:1-5

My Master. His Mission. My Mate.

A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. Proverbs 22:3 flee the very temptation of evil

"By MY Spirit" Zechariah 4:6

speak only of my Savior

our path to success is uncompromising resolve in big and small things alike. Daniel 1

Proverbs 30:8 "Keep falsehood and lies far from me"

James 3:8 "the tongue is a relentless evil"

work to increase a standard of giving not a better standard of living Isaiah 23:18

Too busy living. Upon finishing a season, reflect back and appreciate what just happened and it's placement in the big picture

the Lord isn't just concerned about me. In my victory I must help my brothers until the Lord gives them rest. Joshua 1

"debt to love" Romans 13:8

"the time is short" 1 Corinthians 7:29

"Satan meant it for evil but God meant it for good." Genesis 50:20

What if every time I picked up my Bible I recognized that there was someone in the world who has need of this very message and pledged to do whatever necessary to make sure they hear? Be aware of the need!

Humble yourself therefore under God's might hand that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 my major anxiety lies in timing.

sometimes silence expresses our faith better than our words.

"You, as well as these articles are consecrated to the Lord. Guard them carefully." Ezekiel 8:28-29

Work towards: being an example; servanthood; a crown of glory; humility; eternity; self-control; resisting our enemy, the devil; being strong, firm and steadfast; rejoicing in suffering; loving; willing spirit. 1 Peter 4 and 5

Godliness is never accidental and victory is never coincidental.

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrew 6:15

mailmen

With all this supposed change coming with the completion of school (woo hoo!!) I've complied a little list of things that are not changing.. at least not in the foreseeable future.

1.Paying for parking. No, it isn't just a UT thing... Parking spots are a prized thing in the Lou... very prized!!

2. and 3. Group Work and Group Evaluations. A good portion of the work done this semester was in a group; but the office on the other hand will be one big group project. The other night I called home to take a break from filling out an eval for a class and mom was doing the same thing for her work. College was just the practice round.

4. ID cards. Oh lovely picture on my UT id. Taken during freshman year, you have been hidden in as many ways possible -glad to be getting rid of you! Oh wait, I have to have one for work?? Ah yes! and bonus- you were taken during that nasty encounter with poison ivy last summer that felt a whole lot more like leprosy. I'm so glad the picture was kept on file for the entire year...

It's too early to think too much more.. feel free to be creative and share your own "unchanging things". And of course, life's a season. So let it change... or not ;)

calling out and coming back

"Now on His way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.

As He was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met Him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!"

When He saw them, He said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed.

One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked Him- and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" Then He said to him, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well." "

Luke 17:11-19 (emphasis mine)

Often it seems that life is best summarized by the phrase "I get down and He lifts me up". In those times of 'getting down' it's fair to say that I feel less than close to the Lord, I seem to be the one who has become distant in our relationship. Take heart and draw from the parallel in this passage, because from that moment when we are calling out to the Lord at a distance, He will indeed restore us again to a place where we are at His feet praising Him!

Rocky Top (McGee Remix)

This weekend my parents and I got up at 6am, left Knoxville, and had our sites on Rocky Top. These lyrics will take it from there.

Wish that I was on ole Rocky Top,

But I couldn’t find the way

Went down a hill then had to climb up again

Reckon that’s enough for today

Once there was a girl attempting Rocky Top,

Half done at UT, almost a grad

Wild is she ‘cause she dragged her folks along

I still dream about that

Rocky Top you’ll always be

The place where I was meant to be

Good ole Rocky Top,

Lost in Tennessee, I’m lost in Tennessee

Once three Clarksvillians tried to climb Rocky Top,

Lookin’ for the correct trail

Strangers ain’t never reached the top of Rocky Top

Guess they never will

Clear trail signs aren’t found on Rocky Top,

Dirt’s too rocky by far

That’s why all the folks climbing Rocky Top

Should never stray too far

Rocky Top you’ll always be

The place where I was meant to be

Good ole Rocky Top,

Lost in Tennessee, I’m lost in Tennessee

Now I've had years of cramped up city life,

Trapped like a duck in a pen

Now all I know it doesn't get easier

When you're in the wilderness again

Rocky Top you’ll always be

The place where I was meant to be

Good ole Rocky Top,

Lost in Tennessee, I’m lost in Tennessee

lyrics courtesy of Ben Tarver

If you didn't catch it by Ben's creative narative- we took the wrong trail. We hiked downhill this trail 2.5 miles, then realized it wasn't taking us to Rocky Top. So not taking into account the elevation we cost ourselves, the physical wear and tear on our already over-exerted muscles, we lost about 2 hours of time to reach our destination. Long story short, we couldn't complete our final leg (no pun intended, dad and mom) of the journey.

This hike could potentially be symbolic of my years at Rocky Top... jury's still out.

It is well- Horatio Spafford

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say (Psalm 32:8/ Isaiah 48:17)

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,

it is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blest assurance control, (John 16:33)

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, (Romans 5:6-8)

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part, but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, (Colossians 2:14)

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live: (Philippians 1:21)

If Jordan above me shall roll,

No pang shall be mine, for death as in life (Matthew 11:29/ Revelation 21:4)

Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,

Thy sky, not the grave, is our goal;

Oh, trump of the angel! oh, voice of the Lord!

Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul! (Psalm 116:7)

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, (1 Corinthians 13:12)

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

If you aren't familiar with the story behind these lyrics take time to read it here under 'Hymn Story'.

a bite-size portion, please.

I've been seeking bite-size portions of God.

What about being swept over by a tidal wave?

What about majesty? A sense of gazing upon the Rocky Mountains.

What about "too much to contain" (Malachi 3:10)?

Ephesians 3:19-21: "Now to Him who is able"

Christ is able to, through His power, fill me with all the measure of the fullness of God!

When I'm eating, fullness comes when I have consumed too much; not 'just enough'. I haven't stopped at 'satisfied' but I have exceeded my limit- I'm full.

Colossians 2:10: "and you have been given fullness in Christ..."

I have sought, and consequently have received, God in bite-size amounts. I wanted a message in 140 characters or in the containment of a single verse. I have wanted to be able to grasp it, to make sense of it, to receive simply what is needed for the day. But I could have so much more.

I have been given so much more!

There is a deep mystery in the Word of God. It's not containable. It's too much for me to make sense of. It is beyond any logical explanation that I could come up with. It is too much to record in a journal and definitely too much to be posted in a blog! The reason why I haven't been satisfied- the reason why my soul hasn't been overflowing with joy? because my desire has been for God to presented to me through the limit of my understanding.

Praise God that He has given us His understanding and His wisdom to understand the mystery of Himself in all of His fullness!!

I want God.

uncontainable,

unfathomable,

soul-awakening,

mind whirling,

overflowing,

makes-me-want-to-dance,

too much to comprehend on my own,

God!

tweet.

"The significance of prayer lies not in it's outcome, rather it's existence."

I can't make such a statement without coming to terms with how weak I am. To be honest, I desire the outcome. Perhaps I haven't completely realized this because it seems that my life has been graciously void of so many heartbreaking circumstances.

There is a mystery concerning prayer that will be unveiled only when we are face to face with the Lord (1 Corinthians 13: 12). Until then, I need to be reminded that prayer is a divine invitation presented to us, through grace. I must, in unforeseen pain, realize that prayer is about communication. So when the request of physical healing may 'fail', at God's discretion , I must remind my hard-headed self that prayer doesn't become unnecessary or ineffective when I do not see results.

I am fearful, and at the moment more aware, of just how weak I am; thinking about how I have relied on prayer for it's visible results rather than appreciating it for the reality of what it is.

I am still learning. I am afraid that I have fooled myself into thinking that there is a quick-fix tweet-able answer to some of life's most gut-wrenching realities. Solutions and summaries don't fit into a 140 character limit. We are much too weak and need so much grace to come to terms with the mystery of prayer.

Reuben and a caravan of Ishmaelites

Occasionally the Breath of God will strike something inside of you. For me, today "Reuben.. and a caravan of Ishmaelites" was blown right in my face.

The words come from chapter 37 in Genesis, verses 21 and 25 respectively. Chapter 37 is the first of 14 that give insight into the life of Joseph.

Take a minute to read this passage.

Honestly, I'm not sure of the full extent to which Reuben and the caravan of Ishmaelites affected the life of Joseph, or of mine, but what I do know is that it speaks of a powerful promise of the Lord!

Genesis 37:21 and 25 is the example of the promise given in Proverbs 21:30. "There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord."

brief side-note: Directly following this verse is one that I held on to this weekend, which was a powerful weekend in the life of my home church here - "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord."

How amazing that even when you would think Joseph is at the mercy of the hand of his brothers our God reminds us through Reuben and the caravan of Ishmaelites that "no plan" can succeed against His!

Let your imagination take over as you imagine the caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. What were their previous travel plans? Was it common for Ishmaeilites to come through Dothan? Had they been held up at home and ended up leaving a day later than expected? And what about Reuben? Was it characteristic of him to defend himself to the brothers? What if Reuben was the last person that Joseph expected to stand up for his life?

God sent Reuben and the clan of Ishmaelites because "no plan can succeed against the Lord". You may be feeling at the mercy of a boss, of a friend, of a doctor's diagnosis.. whatever the circumstances, take heart dear brother and sister! Trust God for His Word, believing that no plan will stand against His! It may be an unexpected Reuben or an on point caravan of Ishmaelites - either way, take hold of the promise!

I'm excited to search deeper into the account of the life of Joseph. The life of this 'ordinary Joe' speaks volumes about our great God!

a big big house

One day all the believers will be together. From across the world, across the ages, and across the aisle in church.... a lot of people!

Yet not just 'people' -our brothers and sisters.

At the moment, we are in a temporary home with brothers and sisters that we will soon be with for an eternity, and the eternal soul is veiled with temporary flesh. (Opening up new meaning to 2 Corinthians 4:18 "For what is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal".)

Make this applicable to yourself and ask:

Have I been neglecting kindness to brothers and sisters that are nameless to me simply because I do not encounter them in my normal routine?

Do I react to my sister in the Lord out of frustration over a temporary mater, not taking into mind our eternal residence?

When I speak, to I place emphasis on this life or am I encouraging others (Hebrews 10:24) with the hope of heaven?

We must make ourselves aware that every day we see the face of people whom we will one day share residence with in the "big big house" that is our Father's mansion.

And with that, we ought to do more for those siblings that we might never see. Isaiah 1:17 says to "seek justice". The needs of others won't always be presented before us- sometimes you will have to seek it out. And for the sake of Family unity - the blessed Family of God- may we be seekers of the unseen!

something I can never get away from

whew what a week.

repetition repetition repetition.

reoccurring themes.

It's funny to me how God works.

Have you ever noticed yourself really struggling with something only to encounter that topic multiple times throughout that season through typically the most unexpected avenues?

"The Word (breath of God) is living and active."

Hebrews 4:12 (2 Timothy 3:16)

Confession is good. Being real with yourself, even in the presence of others, is a good thing.

And as much as I have been focused on myself, and my sin this week, I can't get away from the word of God.

It always finds me.

Early in the morning, in a song, through a friend, in a thought, hidden in a picture, a sunrise... it always finds me. He always finds me.

And that's just it. It is proof that like in Matthew 9:12&13 the Doctor has come for the sick. "The Son of Man- to seek and save that which was lost." Luke 19:10

He is with me "to rescue and to save" me. Jeremiah 15:20

I can't get away from it. "From the depths of the earth You will again bring me up." Psalm 71:20

It's not about me.

"Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart O take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above."

I'm never not findable.

The breath of God still blows on me. It is always on point. It's always relatable. It is always inspiring.

The best news of all: I'm not left to myself to work this out!!

Truly Your word O Lord is something I can never get away from!

Let Thy grace Lord like a fetter (shackle) bind my wandering heart to Thee!

attitude of expectancy

This morning has been too on point for me to throughly communicate the specifics. During a break I picked up where I had left off in "the me I want to be"- an excellent book by John Ortberg.

"God is not mad at me for not reading the Bible... What I need to ask is What can I feed my mind with so that it will flourish. ... The reason to read the Bible is not to fulfill a spiritual duty or to gain more knowledge. ... Let's not try harder. Let's try softer."

A theme of my life recently has been one of dryness, not in all aspects, more specifically when it comes to reading Scripture. My solution for this was to try harder- by journaling more, reading at a different time, focusing more (at least attempting to) and even changing the location - which aren't bad things in themselves.

What I'm realizing though, is that I am starting from the wrong place.

"Delighting in God's law starts with a vision of being loved by God."

John goes on to reference Philippians 4:8- saying that we have freedom to let our minds flourish in 'whatever...'.

I wish that I could communicate all the different ways John highlighted to experience the flow of the Spirit through Scripture. What is of cornerstone importance is to start with the vision of being loved by God. While in periods of dryness it is wise to make yourself aware of the sin that is keeping you from God, I think that now is a time when I just need to think of God. And once I take that with me- and begin to look at Scripture through the wonder of His love I should go back to the familiar Bible stories and let my imagination and curiosity take over. I can use specific attitudes and traits that God has created in me to lead me in growing along with Him.

It's a beautiful day when God meets our struggles with His assurance, takes hold of us and enables us to grow from where we are.

Oh my soul rejoice! Take joy my King in what You hear- may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.

God's Rolodex

Until yesterday at 5 pm in my marketing class I had not idea that 'the thing working people keep on their desk for all their contacts' actually had a name. So if you had to google 'rolodex' don't feel bad; and if you didn't- please don't judge me.

It was yesterday in my Marketing class, yes at 5pm, that our instructor used the term 'God's rolodex' to compare, in size, a colleague's extensive amount of connections- which, if it's close enough to be compared to God's then he must be pretty 'up there' if you will... I'm sure there must have been some slight exaggeration in this comparison but regardless, I think I'll be going to this man if I ever need a job! Continuing on....

I've always liked reminding myself that I know a God with unlimited connections! Sometimes He reminds me of that by setting up divine appointments, and if I start to think about it for a while, I begin to picture a very intricate, yet orderly, web of relationships that God sees from His side of eternity.

Now for a moment of honesty: Yesterday I caught myself thinking (scheming might be more appropriate) about a potential boyfriend, not one in particular, but more or less considering my options... I'm quite confident in the fact that I'm not the only one who does this.

Thinking about this, with the phrase 'God's rolodex' in mind - I began to wonder what God's rolodex for my dating life consisted of. I thought about the prospects that I knew of and reasoned that surely, with His unlimited connections, God had some good one's up there.

God didn't let me get too far with that thought before He interjected one of His own: "I only have one."

One.

For a God with unlimited connections there is only one person that He has picked out for that role.

I am absolutely in love with that thought today! If nothing else it, was another needed reminder that I can stop looking. My husband will be revealed to me, and I to him, because it is the one God has chosen. No more scheming, and no more having to 'consider my options' God's got this one. And along with everything else, He just asks me to focus on Him!

Beautiful, isn't it

couldn't say it any better myself.

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart

And all is darkened in the vale of tears;

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.

Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay

From His own fulness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

99 bottles of pop on the wall...

I don't like complaining.

My family and close friends make think differently, but at least publicly I try to keep silent. I don't know for some reason it just doesn't seem worthwhile. To me it's not fake - it's just trying to be positive when things in life aren't- to put a positive spin on the situation so that somehow to will or think the situation in to being good.

That being said, I'm afraid that in the next few paragraphs I might come off sounding negative.

Today is the first day of what I am really hopping and planning on being my last semester of college- of school period- for a really long time. And today I am wondering how I've made it 7 semesters and 13 years before all that.

No unimportant details needed, but the weeks leading up to this big "first last day" have been confusing. Not stressful, just confusing. I feel like I don't have it all together. That for having done this (starting new classes) 7 times before I feel like it's the first time. The pond that is UT seems to have gotten bigger in 2011 and me, the fish that is supposed to keep growing with experience, seems to have shrunk. Leaving me to be a smaller fish in an ever-increasing big pond. Know the feeling?

Today I'm just trying to keep my head above the water... or my butt off the snow- both actually.

I know that by this time next week, Lord willing of course, this feeling will fade and I won't have to look at my cheat sheet of a schedule every five minutes to make sure I'm not missing a class ... but today I'm a mess. I've been checking all of my classes multiple times to make sure that I haven't missed any crucial information that would make my confusion known to my classmates.

I need comfort food- fat food really, a Chick-fil-a sandwich and ranch to be exact, I need to talk to my person, and a little bit of alone/ regrouping time would be good. I need to speak to someone face to face, not text or email, and I need perspective, which I'm hoping to gain through the previously mentioned necessities, a little less caffeine couldn't hurt either.

I feel a little silly making such a fuss about this day. To me, frustration isn't really deserving over a day like this. I know, based on past experiences, and God's word, that this feeling is fleeting. I know that this is just a day and that things to me are not as they appear before God. Testing and trials are brief, sometimes shorter than others, and I know with absolute assurance that He will encourage me and equip me with endurance.

"I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on" I love those lyrics from the song 'You never let go'.

In a condensed version I suppose it comes down to me doubting my inadequacies for the task that God has called me to, maybe just not on such a deep spiritual level. So I'll keep my chin up - and keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel- which I might have in the form of the Walk tonight, or through other divine appointments, either way I know I'm not alone today... even when I might feel otherwise.