guilty

Sitting here on a Monday night, it's only 8, but you could convince me otherwise. It has been a day filled with turning in projects, taking quizzes, writing papers and all the things that fill the in between.

I wanted to share some words from John Ortberg that I had come across a few months ago- it's a good reminder for days like this- see if you can relate.

"If I wake up in the morning and go through the day with a shrunken God, there are consequences. I will live in a constant state of fear and anxiety because everything depends on me, and my mood will be governed by whatever circumstances hit me that day.

If I live with a shrunken God, I will find it unnatural to pray when I have a need, because I'm not really sure, to be honest, that God makes a difference and that prayer matters. If I live with a shrunken God I will become a slave to whatever other people think of me, because I don't live in the security of a big God's acceptance of me. If I face temptation to speak deceitful words in order to avoid trouble, I'll do it. Or if I can get credit for something at work that I haven't earned, and I don't trust there's a God who sees in secret and will one day reward, I'll do it.

When human beings shrink God, they pray without faith, worship without awe, serve without joy, suffer without hope, and the result is a life of stagnation and fear, a loss of vision, an inability to persevere and see it through. It's against this backdrop the writers of Scripture never tire of telling us that we do not live with a little tribal God.

Whatever our need, God is bigger. Whatever out weakness, God is stronger."

I'm guilty of shrinking God today. It wasn't intentional; it crept its way in when I began making my problems bigger. In doing that I stopped looking into the telescope towards God and looked through the microscope at my circumstances.

I needed time to sit down. So after I finished washing the dishes from dinner and paused The Holiday, I opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians 6: 3-10... while my sister's dog is laying on my feet keeping them warm : )

This day will be over soon and tomorrow, for all practical purposes will be just like today. So as guilty as I am for shrinking my view of God, I am thankful for being made aware of it and for having time to sit down, just for a little bit, to reflect and gain an upward perspective.

Now it's 8:30... I only have to stay up 2 more hours until I can justify going to sleep, without having a bedtime given to me by my parents...

Saturday Afternoon Thoughts

It always frustrates me how I never make blogging happen. Let's just add that to the list of things that don't get done.

I feel like, and fully believe this theory, that if I didn't impose my own expectations into my 'to-do list' that I would be more satisfied in what I do. What if we could all take an objective view at what really needed to be done, the bare bones (not in a slacking lazy sort of way, but in a freeing way) and we allowed ourselves to be content with that.

For me it comes back to some basic reoccurring themes I have been working on in my life: Sabbath rest, contentment, and enjoyment.

Recently, in this past week I have been camping out in Ecclesiastes- just doing a chapter a day. And in every chapter it seems to say- in one way or another, that it is best to 'find satisfaction (enjoyment) in our work' (2:24-25; 3:12-13; 5:18).

Beyond satisfaction, there is this principle of Sabbath rest. To be honest, it doesn't yet make sense to me. I am just beginning to recognize it's importance, yet still wrestling with the specifics of what it needs to look like for me. How do I live my other 6 days in order to best use- for lack of a better word- the Sabbath for what it is, rather ought, to be?

And contentment: Paul talks about learning this secret in Philippians 4. I have heard some insight recently about the way(s) to find contentment... 1. Since coveting is the bookend to the 10 commandments and loving God above all others is the first- by tying the two together, it would make sense that we find contentment (the opposite of coveting) by having no other gods before Him. 2. after Philippians 4:11- learning to be content, comes Philippians 4:13- doing all things through Christ who gives me strength. Something about the order and placement of those two verses sticks out to me. In relying on God's strength, and knowing that all things are possible because of, and through, Him - I know that whatever is needed in my life will come about by His ability, not mine.

These past few weeks I have been challenged with some new ideas. I'm thankful for this time. Thankful for where I am. And thankful that it doesn't always make sense.

I am continuing to trust that it is Creator God Himself "counseling me and watching over me" (Psalm 32:8).

Continue to live one day at a time. To fill those days with love; and to keep your gaze fixed on the road ahead, and the glorious prize to which we have been called.