Be Human

The following post, title included, is an excerpt from John Ortberg's "The Me I Want to be".

"In the church, we have a sin problem.

The problem is not that we sin- everyone has that problem. Our problem is that we can't talk about it. We are comfortable with stories about people who used to sin, and people often get invited to give testimonies as long as they have happy endings... I used to have a problem, but then I met God, and now I'm doing much better.

Imagine going to see a counselor and saying, 'I only want to talk about the problems I used to have. Please do not ask me to acknowledge any current problems. It would be embarrassing. I'm afraid you might reject me.' ... Why would anyone go to church to try to convince the people there that they don't need a church?"

The author then goes on to give an example of a small group that he was in with a group of young married men. The guys met regularly until one week a friend didn't show. His absence led to the uncovering of a compulsive gambling problem this individual had struggled with for years. John questioned how had his own need to look better that he really was contribute to a culture of superficiality. Concluding that what should have been a place of greatest safety and healing was not.

"David was Israel's greatest king- but he was also a polygamist. He was a terrible father. He coveted another man's wife, committed adultery with her, attempted to deceive her husband, eventually had the husband murdered, and covered up his crime for a year. He was a liar, an adulterer, a coveter, and a murderer. As a friend of mine noted, no one at the time was wearing a "What Would David Do?" bracelet.

Yet he was called a man after his [God's] own heart.

Is it possible for someone to be struggling so deeply with sin and yet still long for God at the same time?

I heard a Christian leader speak about the two great sins that plagued his spiritual life. One was that there were times when he was on an airplane and was not as bold in witnessing to the passenger next to him as Jesus would have been. His other confession was that there were times when his mind wandered while he was praying. He expressed great angst over these sins.

What hope does that leave for those of us who, as the author Anne Lamott says, do things that make Jesus want to drink gin out of the cat dish? Even in writing this, I confront a strange problem. If a pastor confesses to serious sin, people think he should leave the pastorate. If he only confesses to safe, non-scandalous sins, people think he is inauthentic and hypocritical. So at this moment I find myself wanting to make some confession that will look vulnerable and honest, yet not be so scandalous as to cost me my job. I cannot confess sin without sinning in the act.

You don't have to be victorious to join Alcoholics Anonymous- just needy. There are no 'recovered addicts,' only people in the process of recovering, because as soon as sobriety leads to self-righteousness, for disaster to come is just a matter of time.

However, relationships grow deep when people become real, which is to say, honest about the sin that is common to us all."

The Spirit Flows in Transparency, So Come As You Are

"In writing to this early community of believers, the apostle Paul said, "Accept one another then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Acceptance is more than being liked by someone. Jesus didn't say, "clean up a little bit, if you just dress better, read the Bible more, then I'll let you into my family." Of course He is going to help me become my best self, but I don't have to pretend to be any better than I am to be in Jesus' circle. How did Jesus accept you? Just the way you are. When someone knows the embarrassing, humiliating, truth about me and still accepts me, I come alive."

"The gift of confession is that I can only be loved to the extent that I am known. In this community of believers gathered around the cross, there is no room for pedestals. In the Bible, marriage (along with other relationships) is not the fulfillment of our dreams; it is a place where we learn."

I am truly thankful, that in this season, the One whose name is Faithful and True, has used relationships and circumstances to teach me. "Jesus will always lead us toward growth, and growth always requires risk, and risk always means failure. So Jesus is always leading us toward failure. But He never gives up on a student because he or she fails. He will never stop helping a follower of His who is sincerely seeking to grow."

How unfortunate it would be to measure my success based on current circumstances and feelings. The danger of a prosperity Gospel, is failing to see with the eyes of faith, that fruitful branches will be, and are being, pruned (John 15:2).

Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me... And now-to glory in Your cross, O Lamb of God, I come.

The Faithful One

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24

The one who created you is faithful

"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."

1 Peter 4:19

The one who is with you is faithful

"I will fear no evil, for you are with me" Psalm 23:4

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

The one who instructs me is faithful

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

The one who forms my heart is faithful

"From His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth- He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do."

Psalm 33:14-15

The one who is my shield is faithful

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

The one who loves me is faithful

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions" Psalm 51:1

The one who is my strength is faithful

"O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in times of distress." Isaiah 33:2

The one who is my life is faithful

"When Christ, who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory." Colossians 3:4

The one on whom I wait is faithful

"By faith Abraham, even though he was past age- and Sarah herself barren- was enabled to become a father because he considered Him faithful who had made the promise." Hebrews 11:11

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised." Hebrews 6:15

Just as I am, I would be lost; but mercy and grace my freedom cost. And now to glory in your cross, O Lamb of God I come.

painful now, but later on

John 13:3-8, 14&15

"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power and that He had come from God and was returning to God; so He got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to Him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

Jesus replied, "You do not realize what I am doing, but later you will understand."

"No," said Peter, "You shall never wash my feet."

Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with Me."

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set for you an example that you should do as I have done for you."

Hebrews 12: 7-11

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline) then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit the the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

In both circumstances Jesus takes the time to address the alternative; 'Unless I wash you' and 'if you are not disciplined ', It is by this we 'become true sons' and 'have a part with Him'.

We do not realize what Jesus is doing. Be it in the form of humility that comes from washed feet, or through painful discipline; with the Lord there is always the hope and motivation of a 'later on'.

from life's first cry to final breath

In recent months I have been exposed to both life's first cry and the final breath.

My grandmother's final breaths took place after the removal of life support. I witnessed through a phone call, the singing of "It is Well" by other family members around her bed. I also heard the struggle as her body gasped for air, painfully unaware of the blissful home that was so imminent. A step into the land of the living.

Just this past week I was able to visit a friend in the hospital who had just given birth. I heard, as the father proudly showed off the video, the first cry of life as their son was welcomed into the world. A step into the land of the dying.

My father has often quoted to us such a paradox: At birth we enter 'the land of the dying' and with our departure, enter 'the land of the living'. As Francis Chan said in one of his books, "I'm not being morbid, just realistic." Such a realization ought to be received with the humility spoken of in Micah 6:8.

No Psalm better conveys to me the reality of what this life is, than Psalm 90.

"Lord, You have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.

Before the mountains were born

or You brought forth the earth and the world,

from everlasting to everlasting You are God.

You turn men back to dust,

saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."

For a thousand years in Your sight

are like a day that has just gone by,

or like a watch in the night.

You sweep men away in the sleep of death;

they are like the new grass of the morning-

though in the morning it springs up new,

by the evening it is dry and withered.

We are consumed by Your anger

and terrified by Your indignation.

You have set our iniquities before You,

our secret sins in the light of Your presence.

All our days pass away under Your wrath;

we finish our years with a moan.

The length of our days is seventy years-

or eighty, if we have the strength;

yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,

for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Who knows the power of Your anger?

For Your wrath is as great as the fear that is due You.

Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Relent, O Lord! How long will it be?

Have compassion on your servants.

Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as You have afflicted us,

for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May Your deeds be shown to Your servants,

Your splendor to their children.

May the favor of our God rest upon us;

establish the work of our hands for us-

yes, establish the work of our hands. "

"From life's first cry, to final breath Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand. Until He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I stand." -In Christ Alone, Keith and Kristyn Getty

it's a ..... baby Tarver!!

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:5-6

It would be impossible to announce the adoption process commencement of Ben and Christy Tarver without drawing attention to our personal 'adoption as sons' (Romans 8:23) into God's family. It is from Him and through Him that we may know and communicate a spirit of adoption.

It is from this basis of understanding and because of God's faithful, pursuing love that Ben and Christy (my sister and brother-in-law) are seeking to adopt a child into their family! To say that I'm a proud aunt is an understatement!! In the past two weeks I have been with the parents-to-be as items are picked out for the baby, a guest bedroom becomes a nursery and have listened in as potential baby names are discussed. Praise God for among other things, allowing me the joy of living so close to them during this exciting season!

Much like me, I'm sure most people reading this are unaware of the lengthy process that is adoption (in the legal sense). As a brief overview, Ben and Christy hope to be paper ready by the beginning of October. This includes a myriad of tasks, which seem to have the intention of leaving very little, if anything, unknown about their lives.... From this point it could be three weeks to three months before a child is placed into their lives. While I have glazed over the events leading up to and including the process, you should know that it can be a very trying time. Please bring this process before the Father, specifically for wisdom and discernment, and most importantly that Ben and Christy's hearts would be growing evermore like Christ's.

The announcement of baby Tarver was presented to me in the form of an 'aunt' bracelet and with a copy of "Adopted for Life" -a book written by the pastor of our church here. It was a sweet time of celebration followed by a trip home that weekend to tell the parents (nanna and pop) and the (great) grandparents.

The next day, training for "Farther for Tarver" began. We have decided to use the half-marathon in Louisville on November 11th as a way to encourage friends to give of themselves physically, by running the race with us; or financially, by sponsoring our run. This concept was originally used to raise awareness and funds for an adoption by our friends the Lovetts (Lovett or Leave it) and we 'lovett' enough to bring it back! We already have a group of approximately 11 runners so far; myself, Christy and Ben included.... Brief shout out to my sister whom I couldn't be more proud of for her determined efforts in training for something that isn't her favorite of all past-times! :)

The purpose of this blog is to serve as an official announcement of baby Tarver and to also inform you of ways you can be involved. Ben and Christy will be accepting sponsors for their run, Farther for Tarver, and of course more runners are also always welcome! The second way to be a part of the process is by purchasing a shirt (pictured on my Facebook page) - who doesn't love a great commemorative tee?? All money will go directly to this process.

We are so blessed to find ourselves surrounded by a faith family here that celebrates adoption. My eyes and heart have been opened to my own adoption into Christ and to my Father who is a Father to the fatherless. If adoption interests you, and even better, if you have never considered adoption in any sense, I encourage you to first open God's Word which is full of adoption parallels, where such an emphasis cannot, and should not, be overlooked. Then secondly, to procure a copy of Dr. Moore's "Adopted for Life" for yourself- a must-read for those adopting and also to those who have never thought about their own adoption into God's family.

I look forward to sharing more with you on the process of welcoming baby Tarver into our family! I write this as one excited for another's adoption and as one grateful for my own.

for the Kingdom

"And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek first the Kingdom and these things will be given to you as well. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the Kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourself that will not wear out , a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes in and where no moth destroys." Luke 12: 29-33

Freedom to seek the Kingdom, void of distractions, to not be preoccupied with 'all such things'. Christ has given the freedom to run after the Kingdom.

Being given 'these things as well' is not a synonym for a 'two for the price of one' offer, as if clothing and food were on equal standing with the Kingdom. God is saving us from the worldly distractions that set themselves up against the Kingdom cause.

You provide and tell us to exhaust our resources ('Sell your possessions and give to the poor' v 33), as one drenching the sacrifice to see it burned up with fire from Heaven (1 Kings 18:30-39) so that You may continue to see Your Kingdom advance and Your little flock dressed like the flowers and fed like the ravens. It pleases You to give us the Kingdom, for us to set our hearts on You.

In providing for us out of Your riches, we are provided for better than what our feeble attempts would reep. You know that such would only lead us to a false goal (that of which the pagans run after) resulting in stolen goods and rusted treasures. Yet You know that when You provide it is more than we can hold (Malachi 3:10) and it is that of which cannot spoil, perish, or fade (1 Peter 1: 4).

So we sell, of the gifts given, in order that more might receive. We are enabled to run for Your Kingdom and in our having -to give, You are glorified.

Nevertheless, flesh fails; BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my forever portion. Psalm 73:26

life... growth, happens

Moment by moment and day by day. 'Defining moments' for the good and bad are mixed in amongst a myriad of smaller events.

Unintentionally, we may find ourselves yearning and setting a fixed sight on these planned events; a child's due date, a graduation, a birthday, until we find ourselves being unintentional in our conversations and lackadaisical in our prayers. There is a sense of shock that then comes with 'big event days'. We briefly reflect back and ask the familiar question ' where has the time gone?'.

Unexpected news could subsequently evoke a sense of regret over 'unlived days'.

Timing between and during each seasonal circumstance is intentional. God has numbered our days (Psalm 139:16) and we would be wise to learn this practice ourselves (Psalm 90:12).

Thinking back to the most recent big events in my life (gran's homecoming, graduation/ move and a job offer) only one of these events were written on my planner. -brief reference to my thoughts on God's rolodex, His planner was never lacking such entries.

Ecclesiastes' reference the familiar 'a time for every season under the sun' (3:1) but what strikes me most is that we do not know the season, more specifically their appointed time of change.

We can each attest to how such 'defining moments' have had an instant and overall strengthening affect to our prayer life. No doubt, God is using these moments as a method of spurring us to growth.

The right reserved for God to change times and seasons (Daniel 2:21) isn't merely confined to nature. God who holds time; perfectly, beautifully, orchestrates a harmony of events, growth seasons.

While we may see our life, growth, from this side of eternity as a scattered mixture of small and big events, Almighty God has them placed perfectly- for the purpose of our growth, more importantly, Hs glory!

"so do not be afraid, little flock, your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom."

Luke 12:32