I'm listening

This morning was one of those days where I was more than a little reluctant to discipline myself to spend time studying God's Word. Lately it seems that it's so much easier to turn on the T.V. and indulge myself in whatever show is on than to feed myself spiritually.

So after a few minutes of just sitting there idly I just started talking to God. I usually refrain from calling these moments of random words 'prayer' because in my legalistic (not sure if that's the right word) mind prayer has to be about 'spiritual' requests or concerns. But this time just found me telling God what I knew about Him and that in my confusion and laziness that I was having a hard time "taking up my cross" today.

Flipping through my Bible I stopped in the underlined verses of Jeremiah 29. I admit that I kinda skipped over vs 11 but it was vs 12 that was meant for me today.

"Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you."

He listens to me! It doesn't matter what I'm saying, but He listens. He cares enough about me, not just me when I'm 'spiritual' but me, in confusion and frustration.

I then began flipping to familiar passages like Isaiah 41:13 where I see the shepherding nature of God.

"I take hold of your right hand and tell you to not fear, for I will help you"

No longer is God absent- only interested in me when I come with it all together.

I then thought about Isaiah 42:16 when He promises to "guide me along unfamiliar paths"

I'm neither required nor expected to know what I'm doing or where I'm going!

So even today- a lazy (relaxing?) summer day; when I'm battling spiritual discipline in the form of turning off the T.V., not eating another Reese's, and in all things keeping my eyes on Him (Proverbs 4:25), God will fight for me! Exodus 4:14 was such a beautiful reminder that God fights my battles- all of them!

We talk, He listens, I let go of my burdens, and the Most High God steps in on my behalf!

There are so many scriptures I could reference that God has brought so pointedly to my heart today but that would just be a feeble effort compared to what He has to show you personally.

Take heart that He truly is listening to you today!!

it's a Kodak moment- let me go and get my camera

It's been 19 days since my last post. not ok.

Don't worry though, those past 19 days have been filled with a whole bunch of nothing!

That's not entirely true, but compared to fast-paced life in Knoxville, it's all been good.

Family time is always nice and I'm always going to make a point to not wish it away for more 'exciting' things. (As if it could get any crazier than you, mom and dad)

Trying to play catch up on things from these past few weeks would be unimportant but ....I will tell you about my idea for this summer.

Now, it remains to be determined if this idea is either great or just really dumb. Regardless, I have decided to document each day with a picture. Ideally, this would be a picture that well represents that day's happenings but unfortunately, me being absent minded, I often forget to take the picture until the end of the day so it ends up being a picture of dad mom and I crowded together on the couch... But I do think that this has potential. either way I'm doing it. and thankfully I haven't completely forgotten a day... yet.

Anyways, the bachelorette begins tonight so once again I am expecting to get sucked into a show that I'd be just as good, if not better off, without.

Oh and also, today is my sister and her hubby's two year anniversary- very exciting!!

And in case you didn't catch it the title is a little line from 'sexy can I'. fit's in well doesn't it.

Keep smiling = )

look up

This afternoon I was sitting at a registration table in the children's area of my church. I love being around children! It's something that hasn't happened much since I've been in college.

The children came in rambunctious and their parents came in tired but smiling, perhaps out of relief or perhaps it's excitement to be in church. Either way it was clear that they were on a mission: to get their kids checked in and head on to their other activities.

I didn't think anything of this until a particular family came in and one child stated to his mother, in a tone of wonder that had a slight command to it, "woah look up!". Our church has an elaborate sky light- is probably the best way I could put it- at the entrance of the children's ministry. This kid had probably walked into this area 50 times, much like we all have, but today while he was enjoying his walk in something caught his eye.

Perhaps it's that kids can get away with being noticeably captivated by something. To stop and simply look at the ceiling- who does that? Now I'm not saying walk into your drop-ceiling basement and stare at it like you would the constellations ... come on now. But I would like to be more observant. If nothing else there's probably cobwebs that have gone unnoticed for the year I've lived here.

I just love that something that would be considered so taboo for an adult is common practice for children. And I guess a verse that would be appropriate is 1 Timothy 4:12. While it's often quoted to younger students I would like to say it to us 'grown-ups' but in a slightly different way: 'Don't look down on anyone because they are young, but let them also be an example to you in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.'

Thousands upon Thousands

John wrote of heaven in Revelation 5:11 "Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne."

This weekend I was able to go to a Christian conference in Atlanta. One of my favorite things was the time we were worshipping together in the main session. Praising Jesus in the presence of 1,000 other people reminded me of this verse in Revelation. What a beautiful thing to proclaim the blood of Jesus and to see other sinners professing in clinging to the same salvation and oh what it will be like to proclaim this before our Savior! And not only that but in the presence of 'ten thousand times ten thousand'!!

I had the thought that maybe one day- around the throne- I will be able to sit on top of my mansion, that He built for me, and simply soak in the sight!

I know this is a short post, and there could be so many more words said but I think that you are fully capable of letting your imagination dwell on this incredible thought from here = )

Until that day!!!

sonic happy hour mentality

If I'm out anytime during 2-4 chances are I will be stopping by a Sonic. There's something about 50% off that makes the extra distance worth it.

Well enough about Sonic addiction, despite the title this post really doesn't have much to do with happy hour. It is my inspiration for this post though..

The sweet girl that brought me my sweet tea (it was intentional) skated out to my car- I really feel bad for them because of that - I always try to park close to the door to minimize their skate time (kind, I know). In our brief exchange- I give her the cash and she gives me my RT 44- she made a simple, but noticeable comment, 'I like your earrings'. Thats it- then she left. Nothing big, just a short comment during our quick encounter. There was nothing special about my earrings, same (fake) pearls that I wear almost daily. I started thinking, what if this Sonic skater made it a point to compliment something about each person she served that day. Who cares if she used that same line all day- it was new to me.

So the mentality- look for ways, or a way, to compliment the people you meet. Make it a goal- evidently it makes an impact- I mean I blogged about it = )

blog-able moments

Being the lover of blogging that I am I constantly think of what my next post should be about.... so that's slightly dramatic-but let's just go with it.

When your mom, dad, sister, significant other calls you at the end of the day what do you tell them? what makes the highlight reel? what's the cliff-notes version of your day?

I've realized that it's the 'little' moments that are the most encouraging to me, and often the ones that are left of the 'cutting room floor'. And it's not just that I fail to mention them during my end-of-the-day phone calls it's that I often don't thank God for them as I should. Maybe not even that, maybe it's that I simply don't let myself fully appreciate them.

For instance: Today my professor let us out of class early (which is beautiful by itself) but leaving at a different time I 'happened' to cross paths with a fellow Nehemiah Team member from this past summer. Our brief run in turned out to be a 15 min conversation about what we were both going through- just overall encouraging, and not only that but a great reminder about the Philippines.

There's also been a verse, 1 Peter 5:3, that I've been studying recently. Today that verse was on top on the pile of index card verses that I keep on my nightstand.

There could definitely be a lot more to this list if I sit here and think long enough. I guess I'm just wanting to have more of an 'attitude of gratitude' - to learn to genuinely appreciate the little things.

I'm realizing that my life doesn't happen in the moments that are blog-able but maybe more in the ones that I don't consider worthy of mentioning again. I praise God that He cares enough for me to provide huge blessing in little things.

As a side note... movies that I want to see: the back-up plan. the last song. date night. I'm pretty behind- a weekend to catch up on movies would be good = )

black beans and rice

Sitting on the couch watching 'Little People Big World' with the roomie and I thought it would be a good night to blog. There's been so much to go on this past week that it'd probably be good to put my thoughts down in writing.

It's amazing that when I look back, having experienced it all, I can honestly say that God has been in it all. I never want to say anything without bragging on God, not that He needs it but He truly deserves it. I never ever want to look back and take credit for anything, or every try to say I managed to get by on any amount of my own abilities.

I love blogging. I love writing and I love reflecting. One of my favorite books in the Bible is Joshua, specifically when God commands the tribes to pick up a stone of remembrance at the point where they are right in the middle of the Jordan. The middle. The place where you can look ahead and look back and you're just as far in as you'll ever be out. To go forward into a new land, a land that you have heard about for twenty years as being incredible when all you know is life in the dessert. Ebenezer, they were to call it- "Thus far the Lord has carried me". Picture yourself there- you've come this far and to to go back to the life you've known in this new land is no longer an option once picking up this stone. Setting it up at Gilgal is a reminder that you can only go forward.

Imagine looking at the pillar of 12 stones after the waters of the Jordan are flowing over the places where you walked. The image of picking up the stone is forever in your mind- you remember the weight of it as you carried it between two walls of water. At that moment you didn't know what 'forward' was going to look like; but you knew, with great familiarity, deep longings and comfortable feelings what looking back was like. You've been told that the promised land is better- and not just a casual better, but better in every sense of what it could be. In the desert, that has been home for twenty years, talk of the 'Promised Land' was common talk- always invoking in you, though often fleeting, a glimpse of something better, a perfect-sense of what should be instead of what was.

You weren't comfortable in the desert. The restriction of waiting 5 more years until the promise was fulfilled ensues thoughts of acceptance in a place where you know you are only waiting. Living, knowing that the Jordan had to be crossed makes frequent the doubts of how much you truly believe the Most High is with you and in you. When you cross over the river- how ever God is going to bring you across- will anything feel familiar? Will you remember the defeat you carried with you in the desert- will it all be gone when you pass thought the water? How long will it take to cross the Jordan- will God have you stay there (in the process of crossing over) or will you hurry across, anxiously shedding the desert mentality to embrace the promised land? Will you be full of confidence because you're finally moving or unsure if the years in the desert can be loosed from the chains that once held you to it?

Does crossing over the Jordan bring the change itself or will the act of crossing over only serve to spur the change- could God have perhaps been changing you in the desert and so by crossing only served as a bookend to it all?

I guess this is what comes out when you don't have a purpose in mind for a blog... can't say I hate how it turned out. Oh and the title, it's what I had for dinner. I guess you could say I was missing the Philippines...

peace out.