The following post, title included, is an excerpt from John Ortberg's "The Me I Want to be".
"In the church, we have a sin problem.
The problem is not that we sin- everyone has that problem. Our problem is that we can't talk about it. We are comfortable with stories about people who used to sin, and people often get invited to give testimonies as long as they have happy endings... I used to have a problem, but then I met God, and now I'm doing much better.
Imagine going to see a counselor and saying, 'I only want to talk about the problems I used to have. Please do not ask me to acknowledge any current problems. It would be embarrassing. I'm afraid you might reject me.' ... Why would anyone go to church to try to convince the people there that they don't need a church?"
The author then goes on to give an example of a small group that he was in with a group of young married men. The guys met regularly until one week a friend didn't show. His absence led to the uncovering of a compulsive gambling problem this individual had struggled with for years. John questioned how had his own need to look better that he really was contribute to a culture of superficiality. Concluding that what should have been a place of greatest safety and healing was not.
"David was Israel's greatest king- but he was also a polygamist. He was a terrible father. He coveted another man's wife, committed adultery with her, attempted to deceive her husband, eventually had the husband murdered, and covered up his crime for a year. He was a liar, an adulterer, a coveter, and a murderer. As a friend of mine noted, no one at the time was wearing a "What Would David Do?" bracelet.
Yet he was called a man after his [God's] own heart.
Is it possible for someone to be struggling so deeply with sin and yet still long for God at the same time?
I heard a Christian leader speak about the two great sins that plagued his spiritual life. One was that there were times when he was on an airplane and was not as bold in witnessing to the passenger next to him as Jesus would have been. His other confession was that there were times when his mind wandered while he was praying. He expressed great angst over these sins.
What hope does that leave for those of us who, as the author Anne Lamott says, do things that make Jesus want to drink gin out of the cat dish? Even in writing this, I confront a strange problem. If a pastor confesses to serious sin, people think he should leave the pastorate. If he only confesses to safe, non-scandalous sins, people think he is inauthentic and hypocritical. So at this moment I find myself wanting to make some confession that will look vulnerable and honest, yet not be so scandalous as to cost me my job. I cannot confess sin without sinning in the act.
You don't have to be victorious to join Alcoholics Anonymous- just needy. There are no 'recovered addicts,' only people in the process of recovering, because as soon as sobriety leads to self-righteousness, for disaster to come is just a matter of time.
However, relationships grow deep when people become real, which is to say, honest about the sin that is common to us all."
The Spirit Flows in Transparency, So Come As You Are
"In writing to this early community of believers, the apostle Paul said, "Accept one another then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Acceptance is more than being liked by someone. Jesus didn't say, "clean up a little bit, if you just dress better, read the Bible more, then I'll let you into my family." Of course He is going to help me become my best self, but I don't have to pretend to be any better than I am to be in Jesus' circle. How did Jesus accept you? Just the way you are. When someone knows the embarrassing, humiliating, truth about me and still accepts me, I come alive."
"The gift of confession is that I can only be loved to the extent that I am known. In this community of believers gathered around the cross, there is no room for pedestals. In the Bible, marriage (along with other relationships) is not the fulfillment of our dreams; it is a place where we learn."
I am truly thankful, that in this season, the One whose name is Faithful and True, has used relationships and circumstances to teach me. "Jesus will always lead us toward growth, and growth always requires risk, and risk always means failure. So Jesus is always leading us toward failure. But He never gives up on a student because he or she fails. He will never stop helping a follower of His who is sincerely seeking to grow."
How unfortunate it would be to measure my success based on current circumstances and feelings. The danger of a prosperity Gospel, is failing to see with the eyes of faith, that fruitful branches will be, and are being, pruned (
John 15:2).
Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me... And now-to glory in Your cross, O Lamb of God, I come.
